CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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