I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
It's just like the Real World with babies
nutella sex= disaster
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
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Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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