i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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