we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
