I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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