Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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