Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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