i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
