Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
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Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
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I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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