just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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