Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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