There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
