I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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