I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
