He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
