he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize