What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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