i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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