dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
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about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
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He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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