I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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