my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
