this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
