we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
