I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
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I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
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Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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