So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
