Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
