yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
