just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
