Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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