why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
