laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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