You don't have asthma, your pregnant
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
vagina is talking i cant
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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