We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
