how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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