literally had 100 drinks last night.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.