you traded sex for a burrito?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
is wine microwaveable?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
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my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
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my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle