My room smells like vodka and shame
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.