So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
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DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study