Non-Jews are for practice
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
