I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
People in love make me want to vomit
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!