What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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