More tranny stories later!
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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