Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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