So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
