3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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