do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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