I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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