He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
