we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
ttyl tear gas
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
