I seem to have left my pride at pride
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
