its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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