Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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