so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
