I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
