I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
