We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
