found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
