Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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