I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
