we have officially lost it.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
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