i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
