he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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