yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
