hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
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and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
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Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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