I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize