I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
