youre lurking in front of me
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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