I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
