When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
did i just pee glitter
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
