She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize