You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize