Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
